“With the price of oil escalating, and the threat of global terrorism, the world is in urgent need of a viable alternative to oil,” Dr Christian Koch told reporters in Kleinhartmannsdorf. “So when I announced that I had developed a method to produce fuel from waste meterial, I had expected positive coverage of my pioneering technique. But instead, the headline in the Bild newspaper last Wednesday was ‘German inventor can turn cats into fuel – for a tank he needs 20 cats,’ and ever since I’ve been receiving hate mail from animal rights campaigners.
“It’s true that my technique could turn dead cats into organic diesel fuel, but so far I’ve never used a single one. Okay, the odd toad or two may have jumped into my patented KDV 500 machine, and perhaps a couple of rabbits, but I mostly produce my fuel from waste products such as paper, plastic, and textiles, with only a few animals thrown in. If I did use cats, each cadaver would produce about 2.5 litres of fuel, so yes, I would need about 20 cats to fill up my car’s tank. But that’s a theoretical calculation, and I wish to make it clear that I’ve never actually used so much as a single kitten.”
From this week’s Private Eye spotted in Deutsche Welle, 18/9/2005 by David Painter
kenny
September 14, 2007 at 5:39 pm
reminds me of “yessir, first solid fuel since we burned the cat”